


Sight

by Lust_Demon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU post Scratch, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 20:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lust_Demon/pseuds/Lust_Demon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A second piece to go along with Scent.  Time is passing and John and Gamzee and on the fence about their friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sight

**Author's Note:**

> So it's been suggested a few times that I should continue more of the John/Gamzee fluff and I admit, I caved. I figured that since there are other senses, why not make a short story for each of them? So I'm probably going to, little by little, mainly to develop the feelings John and Gamzee have and how they're coping with their new world. I mentioned it very briefly in Scent that this was a new Alternia but not much else was said. I'll be dropping little pieces of what happened, but it's really not going to be the focal point. This is just supposed to be some pointless fluff (and sometimes angst) between the boys. So don't expect anything ground breaking *lol*

John was flipping through the cupboards in the nutrient block when he heard Gamzee come home. Ever since the cologne incident a week ago, things had been strained between them. Even though Gamzee assured him that nothing was wrong, the lanky troll seemed dead set on avoiding him. It wasn't all on Gamzee though. That one event had made John see a side of the clown that scared him. The capricorn had nearly dug a hole in the ablution block door. He had said some really dirty things that confused John just as much as they scared him. Yet despite all of what happened, John couldn't ring himself to throw out the bottle of cologne.

He had ended up going back to the store, asking the sales clerk exactly what the cologne did to trolls. Half of it had flown right over his head, however he did get a crash course in troll physiology. He had to admit that it was as terrifying as it was enlightening. As if that wasn't bad enough, right after that he had the most awkward lecture from Karkat. The ever angry troll had gotten wind of what happened and took it upon himself to give John an education in the intricacies of troll romance. Really though, it was probably just an excuse to have a romcom marathon.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, John rested a set of plates on the counter and went out to the main block of the hive. Gamzee was brushing sand off his feet, he had probably been down by the shore waiting for his lusus again. Tucking his hands into his pockets, feeling awkward as only a teenager could, John cleared his throat. Gamzee's head snapped up in surprise and John felt his throat close over. With the make-up, John couldn't see the bags under his friends eyes. However, there was a haggard look that the troll wore like a shroud. He mumbled something about being tired and started towards the main block, intending to go the long way around to get to his room just so he could avoid being near John. 

“Gamzee!” John started forward, pausing when he noticed the tense lines of muscles along Gamzee's back. “I... made dinner, I can't eat it all alone.”

It was always John that had to make any offers of spending time together lately. It was stupid, and it felt like it didn't make any sense. John could only hope that the more he offered, the easier it would be for Gamzee. He couldn't lose faith that things could be normal again. Holding out a hand, he waited patiently for Gamzee to come over to him. It was a little funny how Gamzee had frightened him before, and now the troll was acting like a skittish rabbit. Only a little funny though, not enough to laugh. Although, John wondered, if he did laugh would it help the troll to feel more at ease?

Once the cool grey fingers lightly curled around his hand, John braced himself and yanked the troll into him. Gamzee's violet eyes widened and John slung his arm around his shoulders quickly in a loose hug to keep him from backing away.

“Gamzee, as your palhoncho and sometimes friend-leader, I've got to tell you, you're not allowed to hide away from me all the time.” John stated confidently. 

The clown looked down at the ground quietly and John frowned minutely, wondering what else he could do to fix this. Without needing to go to Karkat for another marathon of movies. Trying to keep his movements brave and fluid like the wind, he patted his friend's back. Slowly, Gamzee started to lean into him, his wild mass of ebony hair a halo around his sad features. Even though he wore his masks, Gamzee's body always telegraphed his emotions. The hand that John tried to trap wiggled free and came up to tangle briefly in John's hair.

“I won't hide if there's food.” Gamzee murmured softly, “I'm a hungry motherfucker.”

“Good, I hate putting away leftovers.” John grinned cheekily ad dragged his friend after him. 

There was a surprised clucking sound from Gamzee and he gave himself over to John's enthusiasm. The nutrient block, with it's ample space and bright moonlight streaming in the windows, was a safe zone. The human always felt safe there, even as he remembered horrific trickster strife’s with his father in a similar room back home. Thankfully there were no cakes or cookies in this nutrient block. When John had originally moved in with Gamzee, there was very little there at all. He had managed to get away with alchemizing gushers for them until Rose noticed and demanded that the two of them eat normal food.

He grabbed his plates off the counter and passed one over to Gamzee. In a large pot on the stove was something that could've been considered roast beef. Large slices of onions and vegetables were sliced in with the meat to thicken the juices and add flavor. It was awkward to hold the knife to cut it and John handed it to Gamzee with a sheepish smile.

“Do you mind cutting it for us?”

Gamzee's eyes widened as he started at the knife. His fingers were trembling and he hastily dropped it on the counter. John looked on in confusion as Gamzee took out what looked like oversized salad tossers from the utility drawer and used them to pick out the large roast and put it on John's plate.

“Here, easy like that.” The troll averted his eyes, knowing that John was watching him.

“I can't eat all of that.” John said in a joking tone, picking up the knife again. After a brief pause of sawing into the roast, he glanced at Gamzee. “You alright? Why don't you want to cut it? You're not having nightmares again are you?”

Everyone had their nightmares, some about dying, others about killing. John could only assume that the later was part of the reason why Gamzee didn't want to take hold of the knife around him. All that John really knew about Gamzee's nightmares was that they were different, worse somehow, and he only talked to Karkat about them. There had been a few times when John came into the hive to find Karkat cradling his palemate protectively, rocking him back and forth on top of a pile of horns.

“Not the same nightmares. Different ones. Really bad.” Gamzee took a step back, avoiding part of John's questioning.

“I'm always here if you want to talk to me.” The blue eyed boy looked up, offering innocently as he placed a thick slice of roast on Gamzee's plate.

The troll's body jerked and he took a step away from John. The human started to reach for him again when Gamzee turned around and shook his head. Frowning, John moved over and quickly caught his friend by the hand.

“Hey, c'mon. It's not fair to shut me out like that. I'm just trying to help.”

“John that ain't it, I just can't talk to you about this.”

“Why? I'm just the same as you. When it came time to, I did my share of ugliness. When Jack had us cornered...”

John's voice broke and he looked down. He was trying to push away the memory when he felt claws just under his chin, tipping his head up. Gamzee's hands were very carefully brushing away the tears that had started to surface and John felt the tension run out of him slowly. The light from outside was broken by the troll's body as he came closer to John and held him steady.

“You did what you had to do.” Gamzee smiled at him and gently turned him around. “I promise I won't go anywhere. Just grab your dinner.”

John's hands moved automatically, carefully carving what was needed and then shifting the rest into the pot once more. He couldn't help but smile when he saw Gamzee was scooping out vegetables. A heavy arm was curled around his shoulders and John grinned, looking up at his friend. Things were definitely awkward, but he was becoming more and more glad for their strange friendship. Despite the weirdness, there was always Gamzee there to talk to. The tall troll understood his pranks and even encouraged them. The clown posters were a bit scary in their multitudes, but Gamzee welcomed John to put up his own as well. Plus, it made it feel a little more like home.

“Movie?” John bit his lower lip, making his teeth stand out more.

“Horror?” Gamzee raised an eyebrow.

John looked a bit pensive, but he nodded, letting Gamzee lead the way to the entertainment block. The block was an addition he had made shortly after John moved in. It was originally made for when Karkat came over so the two of them could cuddle up without making John uncomfortable. The human didn't like that he had been so weirded out by it, but he was still getting used to his hivemate and friend really needing those snuggle sessions. He had originally just left the block if he happened in on the comfort cuddles, and then Gamzee said he didn't want to put John out with their non-sloppy makeouts. Which didn't make sense to John because -he- was the guest, but the block was built quickly and Gamzee didn't act bothered by it.

Gamzee grabbed a pair of TV trays for their food and then began arranging the pillows on the couch. John had to resist the urge to laugh as he watched. It was always a fussy thing when they curled up on the couch. Setting his food down, John went to flip through Gamzee's collection, vastly different from the white cupboard where Gamzee stashed the movies he had gotten with Karkat in mind. A lot of his movies were gory and, true to the genre, horrifying. It wasn't always the blood that had John shuddering but the mind games that were played. Rose loved them and would constantly swap movies with the clown. 

“The Backlaville horror?” John held up a case and looked behind him at Gamzee and then froze.

The troll had an odd expression on his face. The usual old pillows had been switched around so they were to the top of the piling system. There was, oddly, a large number of them on John's side. The human wondered if Gamzee was still trying to make up for the scare he'd given him the week before. A tiny smile quirked John's lips and he put the DVD in, hurrying over to the couch.

“Gamzee, are you going to be comfortable like that?”

“Are you okay with this?” Gamzee asked in return, his tone all too cautious. His vivid violet eyes darting from the pillows to John.

Tilting his head slightly, John took a step forward. He paused when he realized what it was and needed to take a breath. It was a pillow pile, something John did without thinking when he watched movies. Of course that was alright, but did it mean something different when Gamzee constructed it for him? The music for the opening credits was playing and John forced himself onto the couch. If this would help Gamzee chill out then he was going to have to be okay with it.

“You don't have to be extra nice all the time. Nothing happened.” John said quietly as he made himself comfortable. 

“It's just... this is awkward. I feel like I'm not being faithful to Karkat. But there's not a whole lot of precedent for inter species friendships.” Gamzee ran a hand through his hair, rubbing the base of his massive horns.

“Is there such a thing as pale-platonic? Like if a ... couple.. were to split up?” John squirmed, his mind wandering to memories of Karkat and Gamee curled together and whispering to one another.

“Pale partners don't usually break up.” Gamzee pulled his feet up under him, oddly comfortable with the bunched position. “And if they do they usually end up going black or one ends up dead. To break off with someone that you're supposed to share everything with... that's just crushing.”

“I didn't think the pale quadrant was that important.”

Gamzee looked offended and shook his head. “Pale is arguably teh most important. Keeps a troll from culling himself and others.”

“Culling himself?” John murmured, this thought having never crossed his mind.

“Not all the hate turns outwards.”

John hugged a pillow tighter to himself and looked at the screen as the opening began to play through. As he watched, he realized that it had to be the Alternian equivalent of Amityville. He started to sink back into the pillows, as if what was happening on screen could leap out at them. The music score was punctuated by the fact that the speakers were set up just behind the couch, making it seem like each thump was there in the room with them. The lights grew dim as the moons slowly made their way through the sky, the beams gradually being pulled away from the small windows. By the time a half an hour had passed, the only light was coming from the TV screen and the food had been long since finished off. Gamzee had one arm slung across the back of the couch and John had hesitantly moved himself close enough that his wind swept hair was occasionally brushed by Gamzee's fingertips. For the most part there wasn't anything too gory on the screen, and when there was blood, it was seen through a filter. It distracted John as much as it frightened him. Just as he was about to ask why, the music dropped to a thrum and the troll that was going from red to a twisted black all through the movie let out an eerie laugh. The human glanced up at Gamzee and tried to repress the chill that ran up his spine. The clown's face paint had a faint sheen from where the glow of the TV was being cast over him. As if noticing the blue eyes on him, Gamzee slowly turned towards John. He tilted his head, his dark irises seeming like fathomless depths to the slightly smaller human. When Gamzee opened his mouth to speak, John found himself becoming acutely aware of his sharp teeth and how close they were sitting.

“Can we turn one of the lights on?” The human asked in a small voice.

Gamzee nodded and leaned over to pick up another remote. With a few adjustments, there was a dim light brought on close to John. The human relaxed a bit and let out a slow breath, ready to take on the horror movie again. Until a jump scare happened and John found himself hiding under one of his pillows. He could hear Gamzee laughing at him and frowned when he looked up at the clown. Trying not to shiver, he made himself as small as he could and reached a hand up to grasp Gamzee's wrist. He pulled at the troll until they were shoulder to shoulder, holding tight to Gamzee's hand. It wasn't gay, it was just that movie was freaking him out. He just wanted his friend closer and he would have done the same if it was Rose or Jade. Probably not Dave though, he didn't seem like he would cotton to that.

Gamzee was little more than a statue beside him, his cool skin making John feel as though he was feverish. The screen was flickering with images of trolls being tortured and the human winced in sympathy when he saw a horn being snapped in half under the psychotic troll's hands. He heard a quiet hiss from Gamzee and looked up curiously. The troll was absently rubbing the base of his horns, a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face. The movie was playing out with the torturing troll grinding his victim's horn into a powder in front of him. The angle of the shot was done to focus on the mad troll rather than the victim so all they could see was the shuddering rise and fall of the victim's shoulders as he sobbed.

“Equius told me before it ain't like that.” Gamzee spoke quietly, turning slightly to get closer to John. “Still it's...”

“Gruesome.” John's voice nearly broke and he hastily turned his face into his friend's arm when the troll on screen began walking towards the camera. “I'm gonna have nightmares for forever.”

Gamzee's hand slipped from John's and he cupped the human's cheek, tilting his head up. The human peeked one eye open and then the other, giving Gamzee an awkward smile. There was still horrible things on screen but his friend had gathered all his attention with a simple touch.

“Thanks for watching it with me. I don't like watching these alone.”

“I can see why.” John let out a flat laugh. “We should do it more often though. With a few more lights on.”

The indigo troll chuckled quietly and moved in closer, his forehead bumping John's. The human glanced down at his hand, gingerly moving it to Gamzee's hip. The clown's eyes widened and the pair simply stayed quiet like that, trying to guess what the other would do next. Wild black hair framed the human's features as his friend shifted just a bit and let their noses touch. The occasional noise from the TV would make John squirm and he squeezed Gamzee's hip, reassuring himself that nothing would happen to him as long as the troll was there. Gamzee had an almost pained expression on his face and each time John would start to squirm, he backed off just a bit.

“Man, you've got to tell me what you want.” The troll uttered in a quiet whisper. “Don't leave me hanging.”

John's eyes darted to Gamzee's lips and then over to the TV, not comfortable with anywhere they settled. The movie was an obvious no because of the gore on screen. While there was some appeal to Gamzee's lips, John was unnerved by his own desire to pull up and peck them testingly with his own. The troll's broad chest was almost as frightening as the clown's lips. He could only watch the minute shift of the fabric from Gamzee's breathing for a few seconds before his own breathing started to come faster. Squeezing his eyes shut, John shook his head.

“I don't ... like boys but,” John's breath caught in his throat and he squeezed Gamzee's hip again. “Gamzee, I like being here with you. And I think I wanna kiss you and that freaks me out a little. A lot.”

Gamzee was oddly silent, his only response was to slide his hand from John's cheek into his thick tresses. His claws very lightly grazed his friend's scalp, earning more shivers with each slow stroke of his hand. “Then don't kiss me.”

The human looked up at him, lost and confused. “But that's what a guy is supposed to do, right?”

“Do it later.” The clown smiled brightly. “I've waited to hear you say you like me, I can wait longer for you to get used to this.”

The blue eyed boy's heart clenched and he shifted, his fingers ghosting up Gamzee's side to rest just under his ribcage. The tension was draining out of him and he dropped his head to the troll's shoulder with a sigh. He let Gamzee move him so they were curled together, John's arms reaching to grab a pillow again as Gamzee supported him.

“I could get used to a horror movie night.” John admitted softly.


End file.
